Kim Kardashian profile
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Kimberly Kardashian / Kim Kardashian / The Kardashian Sisters
Kimberly Noel Kardashian
21 October 1980, Los Angeles, California, USA
5' 3" (1.60 m)
My least favorite porn star Kim Kardashian celebrated her 33rd birthday this past weekend. As much as I can’t stand her, I’m glad she wore something that showed off her only two good qualities. I know many of you guys are obsessed with her unhealthy fat ass, but you won’t like it as much when the diabetes sets in and she loses all her toes. Anyway, for now enjoy the front meat.
» view all 23 photos.
Here’s Paris Hilton in a surprisingly decent photoshoot for some magazine I’ve never heard of called Neo2, which for some reason apparently got Paris to be their guest editor for the month. Which meant a picture of her kissing a stack of pancakes, because of course it did. Anyway, that said, I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve done a post on Paris, and you know what? It’s actually refreshing to see the original celebrity porn star and not have to write about about Kim Kardashian and Kanye, so I’m not complaining. Enjoy..
Now that Kim Kardashian had her kid, it seems like the world finally caught up with the rest of us and got bored of her. Which means America needs a new favorite hot nobody. And I’d like to officially nominate Courtney Stodden for the title. As you can see, she’s willing to do whatever it takes to get famous, like constantly showing off her new funbags for the paparazzi. All she needs now is a “leaked” sex tape. So whenever you’re ready to take things to the next level Courtney, my offer still stands.
» view all 21 photos.
I don’t know a lot about this Brittny Gastineau, other than that she spells her name wrong, but judging from the funbags and the way she’s hanging out at the beach, I’m going to assume she’s a reality TV star. Turns out she’s not some Real Housewife though. Because even though she looks like a cougar-in-training, apparently Brittny’s best friends with Kim Kardashian. She’s also the daughter of former NFL sack-master Mark Gastineau, but despite both of those things, she’s not built like a linebacker. Which is pretty impressive, but all this talk about sacks has got me wondering how Brittny is in one..
Now that I’ve been featured in Forbes (that’s no joke — check it out), I kind of expected that I’d start getting invited to major celebrity events, like Kim Kardashian‘s baby shower. I mean, after all the attention I’ve given Kim and especially Maria Menounous over the years, Maria could’ve at least made me her +1. Oh well, I’m still holding out for Maria to invite me to a regular shower one of these days. That’s much more my scene anyway..